Are you ready to test your love for two-wheeled beauties? Buckle up (well, helmet up): we’re diving into a controversial realm—where not every motorcycle is a stunner, yet plenty still found a home in someone’s garage. Here it is: the ranking of the most infamous motorcycles ever conceived. Before you jump to your defense or pull out your wallet to prove a point, just remember: in the world of motorcycles, beauty is often in the eye of the bewildered beholder.
Beauty is (Sometimes) Only Skin Deep
- The ranking you are about to witness may ruffle a few feathers, offend a few purists, or even elicit some guilty nostalgia. But it’s built on more than just personal taste—it also considers objective data and facts. After all, « good looks » are among the brightest beacons in the motorcycle market, and even though aesthetics aren’t everything, they count for a lot. Our eyes demand their share!
The Rogues’ Gallery: Ugly, Unloved, and Occasionally Purchased
- Let’s kick off with a bike so unattractive it nearly loops back into charm. Debuting in 1958 and then again in 1965, this specimen suffered not only from bafflingly bad looks but also a distinctly insufficient ground clearance, making it extremely difficult to ride. Its performance? Dissatisfaction guaranteed. But hey, so ugly it’s almost good? You decide.
- Next up is the infamous « widowmaker »—a true speed demon, but with one strict rule for safety: only hit those top speeds in an absolutely straight line. Handling was catastrophically poor, the brake system left a lot (A LOT) to be desired, and let’s be honest, staring at this two-seater did nothing to distract from its chronic underperformance.
- The 1978–1983 era gives us a bike that startles not just with its awkward, graceless design, but with that mysterious « turbo » scribbled on the exhaust. A magical word elsewhere, perhaps, but here it’s just more cause for confusion. Add in congenital engine and aerodynamic flaws, and the cherry on top? Wheel rims colored in a dubious shade of « brass » set against some very, very plastic-y fairings. Your eyes water yet?
When Whole Brands Make the List (Ouch!)
- At number 7, we find an entire brand: Moto Guzzi. Credit where it’s due—they’ve written key chapters in Italy’s motorcycle story. But the designs are… let’s call them « distinctive. » While there are Moto Guzzi models of undeniable beauty, the brand is mostly recognized—for better or worse—for its red finishes and geometry that is anything but sinuous. Much respect to the historical Genoese house, but these lines have often left people speechless, and not always in a good way.
- Here’s a motorcycle with a truly debatable appearance, born as an off-road solution but failing gloriously! Not only is the design absolutely against it (earning the not-so-flattering frog comparison), but its handling, suspension, and braking problems would scare off even the most daring rider.
- Right at the midpoint, another Italian marvel (or not): in 2003, Ducati unleashes this abomination. Its undefined line is almost so odd that it circles back into being « interesting. » Perhaps it’s experience gained while shifting from road to « multistrada »—but this particular adventure was a true nightmare. Still, a slice of the market enjoyed it and Ducati did succeed in stepping into a sector that was never its main business.
When Innovation Crosses the Line
- Even BMW, with a history of exceptional motorcycles, is not immune. Sometimes, revolution turns into excess, and bold design steps right over a cliff. The BMW K1, in a quest to maximise aerodynamics, ended up anything but manageable. Its sheer weight and inelegance cemented its spot high on our list.
- And what’s this? Another déjà-vu: a bike from 1989 that suspiciously echoes its predecessor from 1988, much like the US-Russia moon race of the ’60s. Here, the urge to stretch aerodynamics gave us a torpedo seemingly meant for a straight-shot land speed record—a 400 km/h missile best abandoned and erased from memory for any sensible roadgoer.
- Sometimes, you just wonder. Was the decision-maker at Honda distracted by their shopping list or their kid’s terrible report card? For a brand so renowned for clear, strong lines within each category, how did this experiment ever reach the market? It wasn’t just the undisputed ugliness: add an extortionate price (over €25,000) and a whopping 1832 cc displacement. Everything’s wildly out of proportion, signaling pure excess with no real reason.
And the (Dubious) Crown Goes To…
- Yes, it’s true—our winner is a Harley Davidson! Milwaukee, 1960-1965: after 60 years of service, surviving the crash of 1929, fighting through two wars, and delivering hundreds of motorcycles to the army, the bosses at HQ, bored by their own success, said, “Let’s make a nice scooter! We’re so cool—we can’t go wrong!” So, they made the topper. Five years (and a few stretches in their beautiful armchairs) later, they wisely decided: “Enough with scooters! Choppers and customs are more our style.” The rest, as they say, is history—the scooter, less so.
In conclusion: In the pursuit of « beauty » on two wheels, history has given us masterpieces—and a few shockers. No matter your taste, there’s a lesson here for riders and designers alike: sometimes, it takes a real aesthetic misadventure to make you truly appreciate those timeless classics.
John is a curious mind who loves to write about diverse topics. Passionate about sharing his thoughts and perspectives, he enjoys sparking conversations and encouraging discovery. For him, every subject is an invitation to discuss and learn.
